Learning to Cope
by Dr.A.Robbins
Summary: How do you come to terms with the worst thing that ever happened to you coming from the person who is supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to you? Missing moments from season 9, not necessarily in order. I own this. ABC and Shonda own everything else.
1. Chapter 1

**MAJOR SEASON 9 SPOILERS.**

**This has been floating around in my brain since watching 9.01. I don't know how I'm going to survive this season!**

**Callie comes home after shutting off Mark's life support.**

* * *

"_Even if you think you're prepared for what's about to happen, you're not. Your brain can't fully absorb what we're about to do." _

Callie could still hear the shrill, unwavering beep of Mark's hospital monitor, which was ridiculous, given the fact that she was currently in their daughter's bedroom. Sofia slept soundly, blissfully unaware that she'd lost the most important man in her life only hours ago.

Guilt weighed heavily on Callie. The past three months had been a mess of catastrophic proportions, and there was no way that the ramifications could have escaped Sofia.

She lingered a little longer than usual at Sofia's bedroom door, unable to grasp the enormity of what had happened earlier that day. She wanted to shout to Arizona to keep an eye on Sofia as she popped across the hall to Mark's, as she'd done so many times in the past. But now there was no reason to make the short trip across the hall. No one on the other side of that door for her, or for Arizona, or for Sofia.

Out of habit, she made her way to the fridge to prepare dinner. Upon opening the door she stopped, slightly dazed by the bright light. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't anything. She was empty. She briefly thought about making food for her wife, but decided against it. It either remained untouched on the nightstand, or, if the blonde was having a particularly bad day, it was hurled at the wall.

Arizona's mood had been…unstable at best since the accident. Callie knew it was to be expected, but it didn't dull the ache at all. As much as she was going to miss her best friend, she already missed her wife more, and she was still physically there. There were moments, fleeting and elusive, when Arizona let Callie in. It was usually when the brunette mentioned Sofia. As lost as Arizona was, her love for their daughter was unwavering.

Suddenly eager to wash the day off, Callie quietly opened the bedroom door. She was met with an unmoving blonde figure; Arizona's eyes trained on the wall as Callie slipped past and into their bathroom.

**0**

Arizona Robbins had never thought of herself as a coward. Her father had raised her to be a 'strong man in a storm', and dealing with sick kids on a daily basis had steeled her nerves to withstand almost anything. Almost.

She was afraid to look at what remained of her leg. Hell, she was afraid to open her eyes most mornings. She was afraid that her daughter would grow up resenting her. She was alive and her dad was not. She was afraid to even try to get up. She was afraid to even try _talking_ to Callie. She was afraid to _fail._ She felt this fear encompass most of her waking hours, save for the anger that sometimes bubbled over in the presence of her wife. But Arizona didn't need a shrink to figure it out. It was all fear.

She couldn't look at Callie as she passed into the bathroom. They'd not spoken since Callie came home, but Arizona knew that Mark was gone. She listened as the shower began, keeping her tears at bay until she was sure Callie couldn't hear her. Soon, however, her wife's pain could be heard over the noise of the rushing water. She knew Callie would have kept it together at the hospital and for their daughter, but behind the door of the secluded bathroom, Arizona listened as her wife finally fell apart.

**0**

Satisfied that she'd cried every tear that her body was capable of producing, Callie finally lifted herself from the floor of the shower stall and wrapped a towel around her body. She glanced into the mirror, and was met with dark, sad, bloodshot eyes. She barely cared; it wasn't like her wife was going to pay attention. Callie wasn't sure she wanted her too; she knew how fragile Arizona still was.

She hastily pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt before slipping quietly into their bedroom again. She noticed the blankets were pulled closer to Arizona's face, and Callie hoped the blonde had fallen asleep. She made her way through the apartment and into her daughter's bedroom, checking on her one last time before heading to bed. Sofia slept soundly even as Callie took one of her hands through the bars of her crib and kissed the soft, plump skin, silently promising herself that tomorrow she'd try harder for Sofia's sake.

**0**

Arizona's tears had subsided somewhat. She didn't need her wife seeing her pain when it was obvious that she was still so completely consumed by her own. Mark Sloan had been someone that she had never wanted as part of her life, but in recent months she'd found it impossible to imagine their family unit without him.

The bedroom door opened again, letting Arizona know that Callie was coming to bed.  
"Do you need anything?" her wife asked softly before getting into bed. Arizona didn't answer. She didn't trust herself to. It was easier for Callie to just assume that she was asleep. She felt the bed dip slightly as her wife got in, silence permeating the room.

The silence was didn't last long. Within seconds Arizona could hear the shuddering breaths her wife was trying to control, and the near-silent sobs she was trying so hard to stifle. The sound nearly tore Arizona apart. Turning slightly, she reached towards Callie's side of the bed, grateful when she found her wife's hand.  
"Callie…"

The brunette began to sob in earnest, her head resting next to Arizona's and clutching her hand for dear life. The blonde was glad that she was able to offer her wife some semblance of strength, even just for a moment. After a while Callie fell quiet, staying as close as Arizona was willing to let her.

"Thank you."

Arizona could only nod, keeping a hold of Callie's hand as they drifted to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, and as much anger as she still held, and as terrified as she was, Arizona vowed to keep trying.


	2. Chapter 2

_I wish they'd had Callie's reaction to Arizona's arrival. So I gave it a shot. I hope you all enjoy. I'm thankful for the attention this has received so far. Thank you!_

* * *

"_I want to go home to Callie. She'll know what to do. Just…take me home."_

Wanting to go home and physically getting home were two different things, Arizona was soon learning. Going back to Seattle meant going on another plane, something she felt sure she wasn't going to be ready to do in the next decade, let alone the next few hours. She was relieved to hear that the others felt the same. Given her situation she was going to be sedated, which made her feel slightly more at ease.

"You're just going to go to sleep, and when you wake up you and your wife can make goo-goo eyes at each other." Bailey smiled, hoping to be somewhat of a comfort to Arizona as strangers injected clear liquid into her veins. Bailey's words were the last she heard as she felt the world slipping away. She'd felt it out in the woods but had tried so hard to fight against it, afraid that if she succumbed to exhaustion she'd never see Calliope again. Now though, she had permission to close her eyes and wait until she was reunited with her wife.

0

Callie was currently pacing the halls of SGMW, awaiting word from Hunt on when they'd be back. Kepner had graciously offered to watch Sofia and now Callie and the others could do nothing else but wait. Jackson watched as Callie tried to keep it together. His mentor had been on the plane, not to mention his ex-girlfriend.

Lexie. Hunt had called immediately to let them know that she hadn't made it. Callie was relieved. She was horrified at the feeling, but deep inside she was so glad it hadn't been her wife or the father of her child. She knew that none of them were in particularly good shape, and all she could do was pace the halls. She watched Karev as he entered the hospital.  
"I just heard…"

"Don't. _You_ don't get to talk to me." Callie's voice was cold, void of emotion. In her eyes it was his fault that her wife was even on the plane. If anything happened to her she wasn't sure that she could ever look Alex Karev in the face again.

Callie felt her phone vibrate before she heard it ring, and answered it in seconds.  
"Hunt."  
"We're getting on the plane now, it's only a 50 minute flight, so we won't be long."  
"Ok. Owen is she-" Callie didn't even know what she was asking, and was grateful that Hunt answered.  
"She's been sedated for the journey, but she told me to get her home to you."

Tears pooled in Callie's eyes as their short conversation came to an end. She would know the extent of her wife's injuries soon enough. An hour.

How could their 50minute flight have gone so horribly wrong?

0

Bailey and Hunt had wanted SGMW to have a head's up on the state of their surgeons, so they'd faxed and emailed all scans taken at Boise Memorial. Callie, Avery and Alex waited anxiously for them to come through; they wanted a game plan in place.  
"That hand's messed up…" Avery murmured, looking at the x-rays of Derek's forearm.  
"Dude, look at this leg."

Three pairs of eyes trained on the screen that showed the extent of the damage to Arizona's femur, but it was Callie who noticed the name attached to the file. Robbins, A.  
"Oh God…" She breathed, turning and heaving into a trashcan. Jackson and Alex muttered profanities as they realized whom the scans belonged to.  
"Oh crap."

0

After landing at SeaTac airport, the surgeons were moved to three ambulances, sirens blaring as they raced them to SGMW. Somewhere along the way Arizona's eyes slowly opened.  
"Callie…?"  
"Almost, honey. Almost." Bailey's hand found that of the PED's surgeon and gently squeezed it.  
"Kepner just called. Sofia is fine. I'll bet she can't wait to see her Momma and her Daddy."

Tears stung Arizona's eyes.  
"She…must be so…confused."  
"Hey, kids are resilient Robbins, you should know that better than anyone."

Arizona nodded, suddenly aware that they were slowing down. They were here.

0

The first ambulance slowed and stopped, the paramedics quickly opening their doors and making their way to the back.

"Male, 40, severe crush injury to left forearm, triple antibiotics administered at Boise Memorial. Still sedated and stable for now."

Callie watched as, as if in slow motion, Avery took the gurney with Derek on it into the emergency room, anxious to know who else was in the ambulance.

"Female, 34, open femur fracture, partially stabilized at Boise, given two large bore IVs and triple antibiotics, patient insisted she was brought back here for treatment."

They were words Callie heard every day as she assessed patients arriving with paramedics, but they weren't talking about a patient now, they were talking about –

"She's not a patient, she's my wife!" The strangled words left her lips as she clambered into the ambulance.  
"Callie…?" Her wife's voice was hoarse and dark, but it was there.  
"Arizona!" Callie's previous defenses crumbled at the sight of her broken wife and she gently took her face in her hands.  
"I thought I'd lost you."

"I told them to bring me back here." She struggled, still feeling the affects of the heavy sedation.  
"You'll know what to do."

Callie's vision clouded. She'd spent the last 45minutes studying Arizona's x-rays and she'd known from the second she'd seen them that only a miracle could save her wife's leg. Despite her pain and her ordeal, Arizona looked hopefully into Callie's eyes as they wheeled her into the emergency room. Keeping her hand locked with Arizona's, Callie made a silent promise to herself and to her wife.

She would fix this.

* * *

**Reviews probably won't fix Arizona's leg, but they'll make me happy ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**9x03 was incredible. My only wish would have been to see more of the shower scene. I wanted it so much that I wrote my own add-on. I hope you all enjoy. **

* * *

The hard, tiled wall of the shower met her back with force, the lukewarm water invading her mouth and nose she screamed at Callie.

"Get off of me!" She couldn't stand the thought of anyone touching her, especially not her wife. Callie used to gaze at her body with reverence and love, but now all she saw in Callie's eyes was pity. It made her want to throw up.  
"Get off of me!" She yelled again, trying to fight her wife's grip and the assault of the running water on her face.  
"There's nowhere else to go! This is my life now too!" Callie cried, her seemingly strong façade quickly disappearing. At those words Arizona opened her eyes, watching as her wife began to sob.

_This is my life too._

A lump rose in Arizona's throat as Callie took gasping breaths.

"You…you made me promise never to leave. I…I can't leave you Arizona, I can't. I love you so much and I meant…I meant what I said." Callie struggled through her tears, holding Arizona's arms tightly to make sure she had her wife's attention.  
"Whatever you can't do, I will."

_Don't ever leave. Promise me that right now._

Arizona looked properly into her wife's eyes for the first time in months and was finally able to see the extent of Callie's pain.

_Whatever you can't do, I will._

Here she was, doing everything around the house, doing everything for Sofia and trying to grieve for the loss of her best friend, and the loss of her wife's leg at her own command.

Pain, shame and guilt flooded Arizona's mind, threatening to choke her.

"Calliope…" She breathed, her voice barely audible over the sound of the running water. But Callie heard it. Her wife's gorgeous blue eyes held something other than anger and resentment. She saw fear and remorse and it made her pull the blonde into her embrace, praying that she wouldn't pull away.

Arizona didn't. Instead she held tightly, allowing Callie to envelope her. Suddenly her wife's arms didn't seem so strange and full of pity. Suddenly Callie wasn't simply helping her shower; she was holding her afloat.

"I…I don't know how to do this…how to be this person…" Arizona confessed, clinging to her wife.

For the first time since the amputation Callie realized that Arizona wasn't just angry, she was _scared._  
"I don't either…I don't either." She soothed, running a hand through the wet blonde tresses.  
"Let me help you figure it out." She breathed against Arizona's ear, almost begging her.

Relief threatened to knock her off of her feet as she felt Arizona nod against her. Gently, she eased them to the floor of the shower. She was so exhausted of trying to keep a hold of everything; she buried her head into Arizona's neck and sobbed. The blonde held her close, a sense of calm finally washing over them.

"I'll try, Callie. I promise I'll try."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN 1: I'm sorry this is late, gosh, it's almost time for the new episode, and there's been a week off! In my defence I've been unbelievably busy; parents visiting and bestie having a baby and all...life just got in the way!**

**AN 2: This is short. I felt that the Calzona ending in 9x04 was awesome, so I didn't want to touch it. Instead, here is Callie and Arizona discussing her appointment. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Callie watched her wife from behind the kitchen counter. She'd become accustomed to Arizona's silence, but Callie noticed the blonde chewing thoughtfully on her lip, which usually meant she was thinking about something in particular.

Ever since the night of the settlement meeting, since Callie's breakdown in the shower, Arizona had seemed just a little less hostile towards her wife. Just a little, but it was something. Taking courage from this fact, Callie rounded the counter, handing Arizona a glass of wine and sitting awkwardly on the arm of the couch with her own.

"Looks like you're trying to solve the world's problems in that head of yours tonight. Care to share?" Callie asked softly, surprised when her wife's eyes met hers almost immediately.

"I want to get my prosthesis fitted."

Callie had _not_banked on those being the words to come out of her wife's mouth, the momentary shock silencing her.

"I'm sick of being so dependent on everyone." Arizona spoke quietly.

Callie moved to sit properly on the couch, as close to Arizona as she would allow before speaking.  
"Hey, I've made myself clear, I will _always_ help you; you don't _ever_ feel like a burden to me. But if you want to do this for you, then I'm right behind you."

The blonde's features softened as she looked at her wife.  
"_I'll_ always feel like a burden. I don't ever want to be the me that was sitting on that bathroom floor again. I want this for me, but also for you and for Sofia. You guys deserve me to at least try."

Callie couldn't contain the smile that spread across her face at her wife's words. There was no yelling, just honesty. It was progress.

"I'll make you an appointment with Moore. He's the best in the state."

Panic suddenly flooded Arizona's features.  
"No."

"No…?" Callie frowned, thinking that perhaps her wife wasn't as ready as she claimed to be.

"Not 'no' to the whole thing…just not Moore. Not _our_ hospital with _our_ friends. I can't handle that. Them seeing me…staring at me…" Arizona explained softly, averting her gaze from Callie's.

"They won't stare. Our friends miss you. They ask me about you every day."

Arizona shook her head.  
"I can't, Callie. I'm not ready for that."

Callie sighed. She could easily make an appointment for her wife at Seattle Pres, but their prosthetist was nothing compared to Moore, and Callie wanted the best for Arizona.

"How about if I get you a super early appointment, before anyone's around. No one has to see you if you don't want them too. I want this to be as easy for you as possible."

The blonde bit nervously on her lip again.  
"I don't know…"

"I promise, Arizona."

Her wife chuckled bitterly.  
"Well then go ahead. We all know you keep your promises!"

Callie sighed in frustration, standing and walking towards the kitchen to pour another glass of wine.  
"Damn it, Arizona. I won't apologise for saving your life anymore. Yeah, I made a crappy promise that I should never have made, but you _do_ understand why I did it."

Arizona was silent again, refusing to look up from her lap. Callie could see the anger and resentment festering within her wife again.  
"Fine."

The word was so quiet Callie wasn't sure she'd heard it.  
"Fine…?"

"Make the stupid appointment."

* * *

**Yay for progress, even if it's slow. Please let me know what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**9x06 **

* * *

Callie strolled through the doors of the hospital. For the first time since the crash, she was on cloud nine. Ok, maybe cloud nine was pushing it a little, but definitely cloud seven or eight. Her wife was _here._ Callie wasn't entirely sure what Bailey had done, but she knew she'd be forever thankful.

She turned the corner to peek in on Arizona and Bailey, but only found the blonde. She hesitated, looking to see if Bailey had gone far.

"She's rounding."

Callie stood, dumbfounded.  
"I…uh…who?"

Arizona looked up, meeting her wife's gaze.  
"Bailey. But I'm guessing you weren't really looking for her. You seem less than surprised to see me."

Callie moved from the doorway, walking closer to her wife.  
"I saw you earlier, but Bailey made me leave."

A smile played on the blonde's lips.  
"Yeah…she can be pretty persuasive, I'll give her that."

Callie nodded, fully aware of Bailey's special abilities.  
"Well do you want to head home?" The brunette asked softly.  
"Aren't we missing someone?" Arizona asked, looking to her wife's very empty hands.  
"Derek stole her for a sleepover with Zola, to return the favour from the other week. Unless you want her, I could catch him up…?" Callie trailed off. Sofia had become somewhat of a buffer; a safe topic for them to discuss. Without Sofia there, neither of them were sure quite how to do this.

Arizona shook her head as she slid from her stool, using the cane to balance herself.  
"It's ok. She'll have a good time."

Callie nodded, watching wordlessly as her wife led the way out of her department and towards the nearest elevator. Arizona was equally as quiet as she pressed the button for the lobby. There were few doctors around, allowing Arizona the privacy she was sure she wouldn't have, but she'd guess that news of her little visit would already be spreading like wildfire.

As they reached the doors, Callie spoke.  
"Did you get a cab or did you walk earlier."  
"Walked." Arizona answered softly.  
"You wanna take a cab now?" Callie offered. She didn't know just how long Arizona had been on her feet, but she was sure that her wife would probably not be feeling as energetic as she had earlier.

Arizona shook her head, a new determination settling over her as she and Callie embarked on the short walk home.  
"So, what did Bailey _do_?" Callie asked quietly, walking slowly in time with her wife.  
"She called and asked if I could help her with a PEDs patient. She told me that an intern had dropped the chart at the door, which of course she hadn't. The chart never showed up."

"So you went in to confront her?"

"No, it was an interesting case. I had my suspicions, but without the chart I couldn't confirm my diagnosis. I'm guessing Bailey knew that I'd want to, and I'm also guessing she had no intention of ever delivering me that chart."

Callie chuckled softly.  
"No, I'm guessing she didn't."

"Callie…?" Arizona spoke softly as they stepped into the elevator of their apartment block.  
"Yeah?" Callie questioned, taking in the suddenly guilty look on her wife's face.

"I broke your vase."

"My vase?"

"That red one that Teddy got you for your birthday. I tripped and fell and knocked the table. I couldn't catch it in time."

Callie shook her head softly, a smile spreading across her features.  
"I never liked that vase. Besides, I couldn't care less what you knock over, as long as you dust yourself off and get back up, which you certainly did today." Callie's smile widened.  
"I've _never_ been more proud of you than I am right now."

Arizona smiled as a faint blush coloured her cheeks. Callie was looking at her in a way she'd almost forgotten; and it threatened to take her breath away.

As they stepped out of the elevator, Arizona had one hand on her cane for support. Her other hand reached out and found Callie's, their fingers intertwining instantly.

Definitely cloud nine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6 - Oh this episode made me SO happy, especially the last Calzona scene. I was grinning like an idiot. :) Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

Callie gave a watery smile, unable to tear her eyes from her wife and daughter. The laughter that filled their apartment was a sound Callie hadn't heard in months, and feared she never would again. But here her wife was, sitting happily in her wheelchair, bouncing Sofia on her remaining leg.

That might have been what other people would notice, but to Callie, all she noticed was that smile. Those dimples. That necklace. The carefree, loving tone used to talk to their daughter. No, Callie's attention was never drawn to her wife's leg.

Soon Sofia grew tired of her dance party with her Momma, and wriggled down for some playtime before dinner. Arizona took the chance to manoeuvre herself into the kitchen to help Callie.  
"What did you make?" Callie asked, handing Arizona a few plates to place on the table.

"Stuffed peppers. I doubt Little Miss will actually eat them, but they're filled with rice, tomatoes and cheese, so I'm sure she'll at least eat that part. I put some jalapenos in ours."

Callie smiled, quickly pouring some dressing into the salad bowl and tossing the leaves.  
"Sounds yummy. _Smells_ yummy."

"Thanks."

After wrestling Sofia away from her toys and into her highchair, the toddler wasted no time in tucking into her dinner, with minimal help from her mothers.

"Oh!" Arizona exclaimed, putting her fork down. Worry flashed across Callie's face.  
"What?"  
"How did your pitch to Derek go? I forgot to ask."

Callie smiled. She'd missed her wife taking a genuine interest in her day.  
"He was less than impressed, honestly. He sat there pouting and looking at his phone. But later he came by and said 'let's toss everything out and come at it again refreshed'. So we're going work on it together now, with Avery."

The blonde nodded, listening to her wife as she took a sip of her wine.  
"That's great. You guys will figure it out."

Callie took a breath.  
"I hope so." Pausing for a few moments, she spoke again, more softly.  
"Can I ask what happened today?"

Arizona frowned slightly before comprehension washed over her features.  
"Oh, you mean how I fell face-first in the OR in front of my entire surgical staff?"

Callie's eyes widened in horror, much to Arizona's amusement.  
"Yeah, that was pretty much everyone's reaction, so Karev yelled at them all to clear out."

The brunette felt so bad for her wife; a knock like this to her confidence, on her _first_ day back, it was simply devastating.

"Alex kept asking me if I was ok, if I had hurt myself, but I was laughing so hard I could barely answer him."

"Huh?" Now Callie was confused.

"Aside from that lunatic intern who was intent on stalking me with chairs all day, I felt like I was back. Like I was me. I felt _so_ good, that as I finished the surgery, I went to step back onto my left foot. I'd totally forgotten that I don't _have_a left foot!" The blonde giggled, before taking in the unreadable expression on her wife's face.

"Hey…there will be times that I'm never able to forget, but in surgery I can, and that felt amazing. I didn't think I'd ever be able to do that again. _That's_ why I'm laughing about it." Arizona explained.

The brunette smiled.  
"I hate that you had to fall, but I'm so proud of you for getting back up, and I'm so pleased that you forgot about it for a little while. Surgery has been about the only time that I can scrub in, let the world go and forget that Mark's gone. You deserve that escape too."

Arizona smiled. Neither surgeon said it, but they were both hoping that soon they would be able to find that sort of escape with each other again.

As they finished, Arizona scooped Sofia from her highchair and made her way towards the television.  
"You're on your own with the clean up, Calliope." She smiled, cocking a raised brow towards her wife.

"What did I do?" Callie asked, smirking.

"I'm betting the lunatic, chair-stalking intern was _your_ idea."


	7. Chapter 7

**I nearly jumped for joy when Callie said they were trying at the dinner table. Here's them _trying_ ;) You'll notice the slight rating change, but this won't ever become M, it's just not that kind of fic. I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

In the weeks since their make-out session in a hotel room at Bailey's wedding, Arizona Robbins was to feel more and more like her life was getting back on track. She was back at work, she was walking completely unaided, but most importantly, she was re-connecting with her wife.

After a day off spent with her very happy daughter, Arizona stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Callie. As she was setting the table, she heard the familiar sound of keys turning in the lock.  
"Oh wow, something smells amazing." Callie practically moaned, tossing her jacket onto the back of the couch.  
"It's just some fish and grilled veggies. I can put some rice on if you're really hungry." Arizona offered, already reaching to the cupboard.  
"Please, I'm starved. Do I have time for a quick shower? I feel gross." Callie asked, moving towards her wife and pressing a kiss to her lips. Smiling against the brunette's lips, Arizona hummed a yes before pushing her wife towards their bedroom.  
"Hurry though, this will be done in ten minutes!"

0

As Calliope put Sofia down for the night, Arizona removed her prosthetic and slipped under the covers, waiting for her wife. Callie appeared in the doorway only moments later, a smile playing on her lips. Arizona had arranged candles along the dresser and on their bedside tables, giving the room a warm, lovely glow.  
"Wow…sweetie…" Callie trailed off, removing her robe as she climbed into bed beside her wife, capturing her lips in an adoring kiss.  
"Did you want to…?" She asked shyly.

Arizona shrugged.  
"I want to try. I can't promise that I won't freak out or change my mind, but I miss you, Calliope, and I want to try."

Tears gathered quickly in brown eyes; so suddenly that Arizona thought she'd done something wrong.  
"But if you don't…"

"No, no." Callie smiled, sniffing softly. "I do. It's just…that's the first time you've called me 'Calliope' since - " The sentence didn't need to be finished. Arizona knew. Instead, she moved to face her wife, cupping tanned cheeks in her pale hands and placing a heated kiss on her wife's lips.

Callie responded by pressing closer to Arizona, quickly eradicating any space between them as their tongues battled for dominance. The blonde tugged at Callie's shirt, and her wife obliged, the item soon lost at the bottom of the bed. Slipping further into their cocoon, Callie trailed kisses along her wife's neck, smiling as the blonde hummed appreciatively, her pajama top quickly tossed to the floor as well. Arizona hesitated, causing Callie to stop her worship of her wife's exposed chest.  
"Are you ok?"  
"Yeah, uh…could we maybe just…" The blonde blushed. She felt so silly being nervous; this was Callie! This was her wife, who she loved and trusted more than anyone else in the world.

Callie smiled softly, running her fingers through Arizona's hair.  
"You're not ready for anything below the belt." It wasn't a question. Arizona nodded in the affirmative.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Hey, I'm certainly not complaining." Callie smirked, pressing a kiss to her wife's lips before continuing her path down between Arizona's breasts.

"These two will keep me busy for tonight."


	8. Chapter 8

**A continuation of 9x12. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Callie walked through the halls of the hospital, ready to go home with her daughter on her hip. Although her wife's surgery was due to finish soon, Callie knew her wife wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. Sofia squealed as they rounded a corner and nearly ran into her God-mother.  
"Hey, how did the Africa kid do?"

Cristina played with Sofia's little hands as she rolled her eyes.  
"Your wife is bonkers. She had Karev running around stabbing her with scalpels, and Owen yelling at her to 'calm the waves' – what's up with that?"

Before Callie had a chance to answer, Cristina's pager beeped loudly.  
"Crap, 911 on my heart attack dude. Later!"

The cardio fellow disappeared, leaving a very confused Callie to watch her go.

0

After putting Sofia to bed, Callie popped a casserole into the oven to share with her wife. She heard Arizona's keys in the door as she poured two glasses of wine.  
"Hey. Is she asleep already?" The blonde asked, setting her keys down.  
"Yeah, about a half hour ago, she was wiped." Callie explained, handing Arizona a glass.  
"Thank you. So how was your day?"

Callie shrugged, taking a sip of her wine.  
"Not as eventful as yours, it would seem."

After receiving only a confused look from her wife, Callie elaborated.  
"I ran into Yang after your Africa kid surgery; apparently Karev was just a _little_ too scalpel happy."

Arizona cringed. She hadn't anticipated Yang mentioning anything to Callie, but with the way information circulated at the hospital, she should have seen it coming.

"Its not just happening at night, is it?" Callie asked. Her tone wasn't accusatory, just understanding. Arizona sighed, taking her wife's hand and guiding them both to the comfort of the couch.

"No, it's not just happening at night. It's happening in surgery now too. Owen has been trying to give me techniques for how to handle it, but today it got so bad that I yelled at Karev to stab me in the foot. That efficiency chick thinks I'm crazy now." Arizona chuckled softly, her eyes trained on her wine glass.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Callie asked softly.  
"I didn't want one more thing to be about my leg."  
"Sweetie, when I said that everything was about your leg, I meant you using it as an excuse not to do things, I never wanted you to hide your pain from me, ever."

Arizona glanced into her wife's concerned eyes.  
"I know, Calliope, I know. I just…I need to start being your wife again, which means I can't be your patient anymore. That's why I went to Owen. In retrospect I should have told you about it though. I didn't hide it from you to be spiteful."

The brunette smiled softly, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss to her wife's waiting lips.  
"I get it, I do. I'd probably have gone all 'ortho' on you, but promise me that you'll tell me next time and I'll be there for you, in a wife capacity only."

Arizona nodded.  
"I promise."

0

Callie was pulled from a peaceful sleep at some undetermined point of the night. Glancing quickly at the nightstand, she saw that it was a little after 3am. Before she could wonder what had woken her, a soft whimper was heard from her wife, who was sitting up.  
"Arizona? Is it hurting again?"

The blonde nodded, turning to face Callie.  
"I'm sorry I woke you."  
"Hey, don't be. We made a promise, remember. Can you lay back down for me?"  
"Huh?"  
"Lie down for me." Callie repeated, watching as Arizona winced before complying. The brunette snaked a hand over her wife's stomach, brushing her fingers against the skin she found under her shirt. Moving slowly, Callie placed feather-like kisses to Arizona's shoulder, moving to her clavicle before trailing her lips slowly up her neck.

Arizona frowned softly, unsure of Callie's actions, but as her wife whispered for her to let go, the pain seemed to dissipate entirely, leaving only the familiar feeling of her wife's lips against hers.

Callie pulled away a few minutes later, gazing into appreciative blue eyes.  
"Better?"

The blonde nodded.

"That was _much_ better than Owen's technique."


	9. Chapter 9

**9x13 - "If she insists on wearing dresses, she has to wear tights!"**

* * *

Arizona sighed, breathing deeply as she glared at the problem in front of her. Her precocious little two year old sat on the floor in a red dress, attempting to put her tiny shoes on.  
"Sof, we need to get your tights on first."

"No."  
Sofia had just recently grasped the power of this word, and it was currently her favorite response to everything.  
"Your little legs will be cold all day if you don't put your tights on, won't they?" Arizona reasoned.  
"No."

The blonde sighed, trying a different approach.  
"Well we'll have to get your changed into some leggings, or some jeans then, won't we?" She held up a pair of tiny denim trousers to make her point.

Sofia glanced at them, before looking back to her shoes.  
"No."

Arizona glanced again at her watch. They should have been leaving fifteen minutes ago.  
"Are you guys ready?" Callie called from the door. Arizona sighed.  
"Not quite. Give me a few more minutes."

Callie stuck her head into their daughter's room.  
"Seriously!? Get her freaking tights on her!"

Arizona huffed, standing up from her uncomfortable position on the floor.  
"She doesn't want to wear them, so I'm trying to talk her into them. Give me a few more minutes."

Callie rolled her eyes.  
"We're already late." She kneeled down to her daughter, taking the shoes from her hands.  
"It's time to go Sofia, tights or jeans."  
"No." The tiny Latina huffed, looking so much like Callie that Arizona had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing.

"_Now, _mija. You want to wear the dress you have to wear the tights." Callie argued, ignoring the stubborn wishes of her daughter as she began to pull the tights up her little legs.  
"No!" Sofia screamed as she kicked her feet, making it difficult for Callie to finish the job.  
"A little help here, Arizona?"

The blonde shook her head from her position at Sofia's doorway.  
"Oh, no thanks. My approach would have worked given another minute. Now you've annoyed her and completely undermined everything I've just done making her feel like she's got no say in the matter."

Callie huffed, finally securing the tights around Sofia's waist as the toddler cried.  
"This is not a 'super nanny' moment, Arizona. This is getting our daughter ready to leave the house on time."

The blonde smirked, allowing Callie to hold their grumpy girl as they made their way out of the house.

"Whatever, Officer Hard Ass."


	10. Chapter 10

**Last night's episode was perfect. But what if it hadn't been? **

**Prompt: 9x18 - What if the x-ray scene hadn't happened?**

* * *

Arizona could hear her heart pounding in her ears as her wife slammed the door. Did Callie honestly think she was that manipulative? Did she think this was all just a game to the blonde? How excited can Arizona get Callie before turning on the breaks? The ache emanating from her residual limb suddenly crept to her chest, restricting her breathing and forming a lump in her throat.

How much longer could she expect Callie to be patient for?

0

Callie mentally slapped herself as she marched down to the ER. How could she have accused her wife of setting up their night for failure? In truth, Callie thought that maybe her wife was doing it subconsciously, but her outburst was completely uncalled for. The orthopedic surgeon was desperate to help her wife fully come to terms with her amputation, but the blonde was still keeping her at arms length; a safe distance that Callie was beginning to think would never close.

Arizona rarely displayed her residual limb in front of her wife. Her morning's first activity was to don her prosthetic, and as night fell she would slip under the covers of their bed whilst Callie brushed her teeth. The phantom pains her wife experienced from time to time were kept hidden, or so Arizona thought. Callie knew, but the last thing she wanted was to push her wife before she was ready.

0

Callie spent the rest of the day looking for Arizona; the board members had been called into a meeting to discuss Dr. Bailey's genome lab, but the pediatric surgeon had been paged into a surgery with Karev. When the meeting was over, Callie made her way to daycare to collect Sofia, only to find that her wife had already done so. Sighing, she decided she would grab some take-out for them before heading home.

0

Arizona's previous decision to make dinner was one she was now wishing she had not agreed to. They had limited supplies in the refrigerator, and Sofia was constantly begging for her undivided attention. Coupled with the pain in her leg, Arizona decided to indulge her daughter in some cartoon time. Slipping her prosthetic off and her sweatpants on, the blonde moved to her wheelchair, settling the toddler in her lap as they grabbed a snack before turning on the TV.  
"Maybe we'll order some pizza when Mami get's home. How does that sound, little miss?"

Sofia nodded at the word pizza, snuggling into her mom's embrace as she munched on her cheerios.

Shortly afterwards, Arizona heard her wife's keys unlocking the door.  
"Hey, I got some pizza. I didn't know if you'd have started dinner. I remembered we didn't have a lot in the fridge."

Callie smiled softly, setting the pizza on the counter and moving towards her girls. She noted Arizona's use of her wheelchair and immediately felt guilty all over again. Opting usually to still use her prosthetic around the apartment, her leg must really have been hurting.

"Pizza!" Sofia squealed, wriggling from Arizona's lap.  
"Stay there, squirt, it's coming."

Callie placed a quick kiss to her daughter's head, and a lingering one against her wife's lips.

Arizona watched as Callie pulled two beers from the fridge, balancing them in one hand and the pizza in the other as she brought everything to the couch. She broke off a small piece of margarita and handed it to their daughter.

"I'm sorry about before." Arizona spoke as she took her beer from Callie.

"No, no Arizona, _I'm_ sorry. I should never have accused you of doing that. It wasn't fair."

"I feel like that's what I'm doing though and I know it's not fair to you. I want to…" She looked down at Sofia before choosing her words carefully.

"…Be with you again. To be your wife again. Completely."

Callie's heart soared. An idea was slowly forming in her head, but she would have to wait until Sofia was asleep to see it through.

0

Despite the pain in her leg and the fatigue in the rest of her muscles, Arizona insisted on putting Sofia to bed. It was a routine she had missed for so long and now relished every opportunity she got. The toddler was growing quickly and her mothers knew it wouldn't be long before she resisted bedtime snuggles.

After putting her daughter down, Arizona wheeled herself back into the living room, where all evidence of their dinner had been cleaned away.  
"Callie?" She called softly.  
"Bedroom. Come here."

Arizona entered the bedroom, momentarily unable to speak. The lights were off and candles were dotted around, giving a soft, calming glow. Callie smiled as she lit the last one before kneeling in front of Arizona.

"This isn't what you think, ok? I can wait, and I mean that. Right now I want you to feel good, so take your clothes off and get onto the bed."

The brunette could see the apprehension in her wife's features.  
"Trust me?"

Arizona nodded before removing her shirt. Lifting herself onto the bed, she worked her sweatpants off as Callie reached unhook her bra.  
"Lay on your stomach for me. I want to make you feel good." Her voice was gentle and soothing, leaving Arizona no other option but to comply. As she did so, Callie's hands began to work their magic on her tired neck and shoulders. As each minute passed, Arizona could feel more and more of the tension slipping from her body. Until Callie stopped.

"I'm going to massage your leg." She told her. It wasn't a question or a request.  
"No, Callie."

Suddenly, Callie's face appeared beside her own, those deep, brown pleading orbs reaching through her gaze and melting away her last defenses. Arizona felt herself nodding.

Moments later she felt her wife's strong yet gentle hands on what was left of her leg. When Alex or Dr. Moore touched it, they were clinical. Detached. Callie's hands were different. Professionally trained, yes, but each caress spoke of her love and devotion. Tears pooled in blue eyes as Callie spoke softly.  
"How's that?"

Arizona sniffed, causing Callie to stop and move towards her.  
"Did I hurt you? Oh God, I pushed you too far, I'm sorry." Guilt marred her perfect features until Arizona cupped a tanned cheek in her hand.  
"No. No you didn't. I'm sorry, Calliope."

"What for?"

Arizona drew a breath, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.  
"I should have let you in. I thought that if I really did then you'd run. I thought you wouldn't want to deal with this after dealing with it all day at work. I thought we could keep my leg at a distance but that just meant me keeping _you_ at a distance and I'm sorry."

Callie was shocked by her wife's admission. Before speaking, she pressed a deep, lingering kiss onto Arizona's lips.

"Of course I want to deal with this. I wish we didn't have to because I wish you'd never been hurt, but there is _nothing_ I want more than to help you through this, as a doctor _and_ as your wife. I promise you, Arizona. I won't ever run."


	11. Epilogue

**So, I can't find the strength to fill in all of the gaps; I thought I would, then that bombshell of a final episode hit us, and everything I'd been building this up to be fell flat. **

**So, I'm ending it here, and wrapping up Callie and Arizona's painful season 9 journey. Thank you for sticking with it, and I hope you like how I've wrapped it up.**

* * *

It's funny, isn't it? How in movies and in books the weather always seems to mirror the inner turmoil of the characters? The so-called super storm had been building outside for days, and for days Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital prepared for it.

But nothing could have prepared them for this. _This_ storm had been building since the moment Arizona's anguished plea left her lips.

_Please don't give up on me. Please, don't let them take my leg._

Against every shred of proof that amputation would be the most likely outcome, Callie heard herself promise that it wouldn't happen.

_I trusted you…more than anyone in my life._

In Arizona's eyes, Callie had betrayed that trust, and now Arizona had completely betrayed every shred of trust that Callie held in her.

Did this make them even?

_Stick out your leg and I will go grab a bone saw and let's even the score._

She hadn't lost anything? She had lost her best friend. The father of her child…

_I'll be damned if I lose you too._

Yet, here it was.

_Life can change on an instant. Turn on a dime._

This wasn't her wife. This wasn't the Arizona that Callie had fallen in love with. The one she'd married and pledged her life to. This Arizona was a shell, falling into bed with a woman she barely knew and hurling abuse at the one she was supposed to love.

"I'll always love you. But this…" Her face contorted in disgust.  
"_This _isn't you."

"You don't think I know that?" Her voice whispered unsurely, a stark contrast to the hateful spite that had exploded from her mouth only minutes before.

Hearing her wife's unsure anguish nearly made Callie crumble. She wanted nothing more than to take her in her arms and promise her that she'd be ok. That _they'd_ be ok. But she couldn't. Because they weren't. _She_ wasn't.

"I'm going to take Sofia home." She said softly, although her feet remained routed to their spot.

Arizona's blood ran cold at the sound of their daughter's name. She had no doubt that she would not be welcome in their home and the thought of being separated from Sofia made her want to throw up.

"The storm. You can't." She shook her head, tears clouding her vision.

"They cleared us to leave." Callie countered, wiping angrily at her cheeks. She wanted to be furious at her wife, but all she felt was defeated.

"You need help. _Real_ help. Otherwise we can't…" She shrugged, motioning between the two of them. She couldn't form the words.

Contrary to her angered outburst, Arizona now found herself almost unable to speak.  
"Sofia…" She pleaded.  
"Whenever you want. She's yours." Callie promised. "I just can't be right now."

Arizona watched as Callie walked away. Slumping onto the couch, she sunk into herself as sobs wracked her tired body. Where had that come from? She still blamed Callie? A week ago the notion would have been preposterous.

Nearly a year had passed since she had woken up without her leg, but as she sat in the dark lounge, in the middle of a thunderstorm, she realised that a year ago she had lost _herself._

A year ago she would have put Lauren Boswell in her place when the flirting started. A year ago she would have had her wife by her side during the storm. A year ago she would have been herself.

Drying her eyes, Arizona pulled her phone from her pocket. Months ago, just after they met, her prosthetist had given her some numbers of some therapists. She had nearly torn his head off, claiming that she didn't need help.

As she scrolled through her contacts, she found the number and hit call.

A year after the crash, for the sake of her wife and the sake of her daughter, Arizona Robbins would finally learn to cope.

_**Fin**_


End file.
